Some pills would be difficult to swallow because of their bitter taste. That is why they may have an outer layer of sugar (a “sugarcoating”). We are grateful to one of our clients for pointing out that “sugarcoating” is a fundamental characteristic of American communication.
In American culture, we risk being considered rude if we speak too directly. When we make requests, we go beyond simply saying “please.” When we want something, we seem to ask polite permission. In a restaurant, we may say, “May I please have more coffee?” rather than simply, “More coffee, please.” More than in some other cultures, we say “Thank you!” for routine actions performed for us. In stores and restaurants, in response to the smallest offer of assistance, we often express gratitude. When we buy something, we often say “Thank you” after we pay.
If we are not in agreement, we make an effort to make the disagreement more palatable. We may say, “I hear what you are saying,” or “There may be some truth in what you are saying,” even if we completely disagree.
Sometimes, we even avoid telling the truth, if the truth may offend. Someone might ask, “How do you like my new necktie?” We would never say, “I really don’t like it.” Rather, we might tell a white lie. A white lie is a false statement that is polite and harmless. We might say, “That tie looks great!” Or if we want to avoid a white lie, we could simply say, “It’s so unusual. I never saw anything like that. Where did you get it?”
Even when we refuse an invitation or an offer of assistance, we do so in a way that is sure to express a pleasant feeling.
“Sugar coating” is something worth paying attention to. In American culture we do it unconsciously and automatically. If you are new to our culture, increase your awareness of this vital aspect of American communication.
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